Control, Jealous, Insecurities – A Darkside of Human Nature
This is a darkside if human nature that people can go through within their relationships. Bariatric patients with their other half or even just someone working to lose weight and their other half. I can also be from friends and other family members. In this article I talk about Bariatric patients and their other half and ways to get past these.
Your other half after Bariatric surgery. Are they making comments after you have lost so much weight? Are they trying to get you to eat things you shouldn’t be or not go to the gym? Have you tried getting them to change their eating habits to help them or even try to get you to go to a gym or even just go for a walk? Have you been getting more attention from people?
Unfortunately, there usually one of three things happening. First, control. This is their way of trying to control you. Have you ever had issues with them trying to control your every move prior to surgery? Or try to tell you how to eat, etc? This is something that needs to be stopped. This type of behavior can go bad fast. No, I haven’t had Bariatric surgery, but my ex-husband was controlling and it eventually turned abusive. It’s why I got out of the marriage. It’s because they need to feel like they are in control of everything. This includes who they are dating or married to. You need to reassess your relationship. If it’s been going on for awhile but you want to save it, try counseling. It’s not healthy to go through a relationship where one tries to control everything that you do.
Next, could be they are just jealous. The three headed beast. Jealous of the new attention you may be getting since your weight loss. Jealous can be a horrible thing. It can make people accuse. It can make people do and say horrible things. Just sit them down and talk to them. Explain to them that you are in love and care about only them. While the attention may feel good, it’s not true. It’s the dopamine in your system that’s being triggered. There’s a reason why it’s called the “feel good” hormone. It’s short lived. Remember jealousy can also happen if you have stopped paying attention to your loved one. If you flip through your phone for hours on end posting selfie after selfie, trying to get the attention of others for that dopamine high. When most likely all you need to do is look at your loved one and realize that they show you love. No some may be jealous and fall into the controlling behavior but then they have both traits. So look at both options to try to help.
Finally, this option is a lot like jealous but they are insecure. Insecure with how they look, insecure because you are getting more attention. Or even as far as insecure because others have shown you attention and you have shown it back maybe in a way that you don’t realize may even be disrespectful to your loved one.
The key to all of this communication. Talking to them about what’s happening. Reassurance especially if they are insecure. They may make excuses on why not to go to the gym with you or try to eat healthy. Don’t force them just encourage and help them understand the benefits. This deals with the stages of Behavior Change. They may be in a beginning stage where they have had nothing but problems. I talk about these stages in a presentation in BariatricA Premium LLC. Check the link out to find out more.
So remember to communicate those you are in a relationship with. Therapy may be needed to help, but do not keep yourself in a situation that could turn bad like when they are controlling and are not willing to change their behaviors. If they don’t want to communicate, it may be time to reassess your relationship.